In Orthodox Dating Scene, Matchmakers Go Digital

These women, professional shadchanim , or matchmakers, ask the men and women about their family connections and education, who they know, where they pray. The shadchanim dismiss their unmarried charges after the interviews, then huddle together in a dark room lined with ancient religious texts. Speaking in a mixture of English, Yiddish, and Hebrew, they rifle through their notes, searching for matches. They are helping the men and women—especially the women—fulfill the primary social responsibility of their community: to get married. There are no dating websites, apps, or events. Marital aspirants meet almost exclusively through the intercession of s hadchanim like this group in Borough Park.

The New Republic

Matchmaker Judith Gottesman. Yesterday, I did a story about a man with a bizarre job. He was helping Spanish banks that wanted to merge with other banks. In my story, I compared this man to a yenta, someone who arranges marriages. And then I got this phone message from my mom, who usually calls to tell me what she thinks of my stories:.

It means, like, an old woman, an old gossipy woman.

D’Var Torah By: Edwin C. Goldberg. With so many matchmaking and online dating services, it’s no surprise that people are looking for love, but as a recent Pew.

If the impromptu couple ended up getting married, Steinhardt said, he would pay for their honeymoon. But Beroff and the woman had the conversation, and split the money. Beroff regrets it now. The woman involved did not respond to a Jewish Telegraphic Agency inquiry. And I wish I had said that offering to pay people like that is inappropriate. Steinhardt, a former hedge-fund manager who has donated prolifically to Jewish causes, has denied some of the specific allegations and attributes the others to a crude sense of humor.

But organizational heads and philanthropy experts now say that the Jewish communal zeitgeist is moving away from continuity, in part due to a realization that it encourages stereotypes about women and Jewish families.

The Jewish matchmaker

The novel coronavirus pandemic has led local, state and federal governments to implement social distancing measures, including prohibiting gatherings, closing businesses and encouraging people to stay six feet apart if they must leave their homes. According to Salkin, many people are now wondering how to find and maintain relationships without in-person contact. Get Jewish Exponent’s Newsletter by email and never miss our top stories We do not share data with third party vendors.

Free Sign Up. Talia Goldstein, founder and president of the Los Angeles-based matchmaking company Three Day Rule , believes social distancing will make people reconsider the qualities they are looking for in a partner. Now is the time to slow down and really get to know people.

shidduchim שִׁדּוּכִים, Aramaic שידוכין) is a system of matchmaking in which Jewish singles are introduced to one another in Orthodox.

Such service was virtually indispensible during the Middle Ages when custom frowned on courtships and numerous Jewish families lived in semi-isolation in small communities. Shadkhanim were thus relied upon to gather and evaluate information on the personal qualities and background of potential spouses in order to ensure a felicitous and holy union. Their recompense, fixed by custom, was often a percentage of the dowry.

In some of the larger Jewish communities of eastern Europe, the reputation of shadkhanim was marred by the appearance of less than sincere matchmakers who were more interested in turning a financial profit than in honest representation. This type of shadkhan became the subject of countless Jewish jokes. Shadkhanim still exist today but in greatly reduced numbers.

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Are matchmakers for Jews necessary?

Mendelson, Linda Rich, and Bunny Gibson interview three potential suitors before picking one to go on a date with their bachelor or bachelorette. The bubbies then watch them—with the help of a live camera—go on a date and afterwards give pointers on what the daters did right and wrong. The Los Angeles-based grandmothers set up singles of all ages, both Jewish and non-Jewish, and sexual preferences. One episode features daters in their 60s and 70s, while another features a member of the LGBTQ community looking for love.

She has experience working with two matchmaking services, and has appeared in more than 65 television shows and films.

Matchmaker and dating coach Lori Salkin with her husband, Leon. (Courtesy of Lori Salkin). Philadelphia-based SawYouAtSinai matchmaker.

So important, so weighty, so meaningful is the decision that it is sometimes a wonder that any of us manage to cross that threshold! We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform. We come up to bat in the bottom of the last inning, two outs and runners in scoring position; we sit in classrooms with our palm sweating, waiting to take an exam; we argue in courtrooms and make investment decisions; we move our families from one community to another… the list goes on and on.

There is so much we have to do, and so much we have to get right. Imagine then the incredible pressure Eliezer felt when he was sent out by Abraham to find a wife for his beloved son, Isaac! What decision can we make that is more fateful than the choice of a lifetime mate? From that decision unfurls years of happiness, successful child-rearing, the blessing of a home filled with learning, respect and holiness.

Finding the right mate can be fraught with uncertainty; a decision of remarkable moment.

A Jewish Matchmaker Whose Hand Led Hundreds Down the Aisle

In Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Both sides usually the parents, close relatives or friends of the persons, and the singles themselves, involved make inquiries about the prospective partner, e. A shidduch often begins with a recommendation from family members, friends or others who see matchmaking as a mitzvah , or commandment. Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services.

Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchan , but anyone who makes a shidduch is considered the shadchan for it.

Sparks Matchmaking connects Jewish individuals for companionship, marriage, and continuity. So far, 22 couples are married and 12 couples.

Strangely, we are all invited to go on this wild ride. Throughout time, Jewish history and culture has stressed the importance of finding soulmates, devoting oneself to marriage, and building loving homes. Yes, an ear piece. Sonya Kreizman , JCrush CEO and renowned dating coach, will be whispering her wooing tips in his ear throughout the date which will be videoed for our unadulterated pleasure in a two-part segment on Facebook Live.

If all goes according to plan, he will eventually take their relationship to the next level by inviting his prospective romantic interest to spend time with him in his hometown, LA. This sounds like bachelor-esque with a hint of Jewish-mom and we are here for it. Alex Mandel is a celebrity in his own right. Over the past few years, Mandel has become a Youtube sensation, having accumulated a following of around , fans on the site due to his comedic videos. Alex has tried to use multiple dating apps in the past, without luck.

Get on it. Tamar Skydell is an writer at The Forward.

Inside The World Of Jewish Matchmaking

The institution of marriage in East European Jewish society remained largely traditional until the early twentieth century but also reflected broader transformations in general society. In the absence of civil marriage in the Polish—Lithuanian Commonwealth , and later in tsarist Russia , marriage belonged to the competence of the rabbi, who supervised wedding ceremonies and adjudicated divorce according to Jewish law.

In contrast, following the Polish Partitions, the Habsburg Empire maintained an ambiguous separation of church and state in matters of family law.

Three Jewish grandmothers star in a new dating show, where they put their matchmaking skills to the test for eligible bachelors and.

The Jewish community has come a long way since the kind of matchmaking portrayed in “Fiddler on the Roof,” but it hasn’t left the yenta back in the shtetl. At least, not entirely. While Jews marrying Jews is still a widely shared goal, the means to that end have been fine-tuned to better serve today’s tech-savvy singles. Through global dating sites like SawYouAtSinai. These modern-day Jewish matchmakers talk to their clients one on one, learning the nuances that computer questionnaires don’t pick up on.

And then they search online profiles, generating more options than their ancestors ever could. It’s this blend of Old and New World that’s becoming increasingly attractive to young Jewish singles. But these days, Goldman says, in a world of constant communication, packed schedules and endless options, Jewish singles want three things in dating: privacy, efficiency and choices. Lots and lots of choices. A year-old social media strategist, she has been using SawYouAtSinai.

She describes herself as “modern Orthodox liberal,” which for her means she observes the Sabbath and keeps kosher but also wears pants and doesn’t plan to cover her hair when she gets married. She tried secular dating apps like Coffee Meets Bagel , but found them too passive and cluttered. The main reason she sought out the help of an Internet yenta?

Her busy work schedule didn’t leave time to find men in the same specific category of Jewish observance, and she’s looking to get married “not tomorrow” but sooner rather than later.

Jewish Dating in the Time of COVID-19

Their connection felt genuine and she was eager to cut out the middleman. Her future husband was less certain and suggested they wait. For instance, a shadchen acting as an intermediary at the beginning of a relationship served Lily in her early 20s, but was less effective as she matured. Lily attributes this disconnect to the reality that shidduch dating was originally intended for people in their late teens and early 20s. He says that, thanks to his work, 58 couples have gotten engaged.

There are precious few Jewish babies being born as Jewish men and women in jaded singles fortresses like New York continue the never-.

Mendelson, Linda Rich, and Bunny Gibson interview three potential suitors before picking one to go on a date with their bachelor or bachelorette. The bubbies then watch them—with the help of a live camera—go on a date and afterwards give pointers on what the daters did right and wrong. The Los Angeles-based grandmothers set up singles of all ages, both Jewish and non-Jewish, and sexual preferences. One episode features daters in their 60s and 70s, while another features a member of the LGBTQ community looking for love.

She has experience working with two matchmaking services, and has appeared in more than 65 television shows and films. She was the first female cantor in history to serve a Conservative congregation. She does couples counseling and said she draws a lot of her wisdom about dating from the Torah. Rich and Mendelson have even been helping Gibson learn about Judaism since the latter took a DNA test last year and found out she is 50 percent Jewish.

The women agreed that some of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to dating include getting into bed too quickly with a person, talking about themselves too much and complaining a lot throughout the date. Rich celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary in October. A member of the temple where she was a cantor invited her now-husband to come to the synagogue to meet her and hear her sing.

Meet the Jewish Matchmaker of Your Mother’s Dreams

It happens every weekday evening across the entire land of Israel. Dates involving religiously observant Jews who have been brought together by a matchmaker take place in hotel lobbies, in certain approved cafes and pubs, and also in family homes. In the dark.

She sent for Rabbi Yose, and conceded: “Rabbi, your Torah is true.” The Talmud explains: Matchmaking was a simple matter in her eyes because she, unlike.

We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform. We come up to bat in the bottom of the last inning, two outs and runners in scoring position; we sit in classrooms with our palm sweating, waiting to take an exam; we argue in courtrooms and make investment decisions; we move our families from one community to another… the list goes on and on.

There is so much we have to do, and so much we have to get right. Imagine then the incredible pressure Eliezer felt when he was sent out by Abraham to find a wife for his beloved son, Isaac! What decision can we make that is more fateful than the choice of a lifetime mate? From that decision unfurls years of happiness, successful child-rearing, the blessing of a home filled with learning, respect and holiness. Finding the right mate can be fraught with uncertainty; a decision of remarkable moment.

So important, so weighty, so meaningful the decision that it is sometimes a wonder that any of us manage to cross that threshold!

Jewish Men Dating